


Plain Jane and the Giants

by Mislagnissa



Category: Fairy Tales & Related Fandoms, Original Work
Genre: Dragons, Gen, Giants, Magic, Rescue, Rule of Threes, Talking Animals, Technology, Trolls, Wolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:29:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26408758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mislagnissa/pseuds/Mislagnissa
Summary: Plain Jane and her little sisters live on a happy pumpkin farm. One day Jane's sisters are abducted by a wicked three-headed dragon and carried off to the end of the world. Thus, Jane is forced to go on a quest to rescue her sisters and end the dragon's reign of terror. Along the way, Jane meets various giants, trolls, and other creatures who help or hinder her in her quest.
Kudos: 1





	Plain Jane and the Giants

On a farm there lived a girl with three little sisters. The eldest sister was plain, so she was named Plain Jane, but her little sisters shined like the planets in the sky. The first little sister shone like the sun, so she was named Sunny. The second little sister shone like the moon, so she was named Luna. The third little sister shone like the stars, so she was named Stella.

While the four sisters tilled the pumpkin patch one day, there came a terrible dragon flying through the sky. This dragon had three heads: a trio of brothers named Evil, Madness and Spite. The three wicked brothers caught sight of the three beautiful little sisters. Immediately their black envious heart swelled with a desire to lock the girls away and so deprive the world of their beauty.

So the dragon snatched up the three wailing sisters and carried them off to his castle at the edge of the world. Plain Jane watched the dragon’s receding back, fell to her knees, and wept.

“Why do you cry, Plain Jane?” asked a voice.

Plain Jane paused the falling of her tears and looked toward the source of the voice. She was surprised to see that it was a pumpkin.

“Oh pumpkin, my pumpkin,” she wailed. “The wicked dragon has carried my sisters off to the edge of the world. I can do nothing but weep, for what can a plain girl like me do?”

“Indeed there is something you may do, my child,” said the pumpkin.

Plain Jane wiped her tears and asked, “Indeed?”

“Walk the road to the edge of the horizon. There lives my friend the vegetable lamb. The farmer Farsight will help you in your quest.”

Plain Jane did as the pumpkin said and came upon a pasture surrounded by a wooden fence. There grazed numerous lambs with cotton fur. The girl was amazed to see that the lambs hatched from melons and were connected to their parents by a vine.

Suddenly, a fearsome giant appeared. His hair shone like the feathers of the peacock bird and his hundred green eyes saw in all directions. This was the great Farsight, farmer of the vegetable lamb.

“Halt! Who dares trespass on my pasture?” asked the giant in a booming voice.

“I dare not trespass, great Farsight. I am Plain Jane, and I have come to beg for help in my quest to rescue my little sisters,” she replied.

Farsight regarded her for a moment and replied, “I shall assist you if you first do a task for me. I have grown tired of watching my pasture and desire to retire for a time. If you watch over my pasture while I rest, then when I return I shall lend you aid.”

Farsight handed Plain Jane a whistle and said, “If any should intrude on my pasture, blow this whistle and my hound Dusky shall drive them away.”

So the giant retired to rest and the girl was left to watch over the lambs in their pasture.

A pair of foxes snuck through the fence, hoping to steal the cotton. As they grabbed one lamb, it cried out, “Help me Plain Jane, friend of pumpkins! The foxes try to take me away!”

Plain Jane saw them immediately. She blew the whistle, and immediately a massive hound with two heads and the tail of a dragon appeared. Dusky chased the foxes and tore them to pieces.

The giant returned and saw that all the lambs were accounted for. He looked to the girl and said, “Thank you, Plain Jane. As a reward for your service you may keep the whistle I gave you. If ever you should require aid, blow it and my hound named Dusky will appear.”

The vegetable lamb said, “Thank you for protecting me, Plain Jane. Now you must walk the road to the edge of the black mountains. There lives my friend the cedar tree. The guardian named Horror the Terrible will help you in your quest.”

Plain Jane did as the lamb said and came upon a cedar forest surrounded by black mountains. There the girl was amazed to see all manner of pixie and sprite dancing among the leaves and branches.

Suddenly, a fearsome giant appeared. He bore the face of a saber-toothed lion and a mane of writhing serpents. His legs were a pair of massive snakes: the right was named Firedrake and breathed smoke and flame, the left was named Coldstone and any living creature that met its gaze was turned to stone. This was Horror the Terrible, guardian of the cedar forest.

“Halt! Who dares trespass on my forest?” asked the giant in a booming voice.

“I dare not trespass, Horror the Terrible. I am Plain Jane, and I have come to beg for help in my quest to rescue my little sisters,” she replied.

Horror the Terrible regarded her for a moment and replied, “I shall assist you if you first do a task for me. I have grown tired of guarding the forest and desire to retire for a time. If you watch over my charge while I rest, then when I return I shall lend you aid.”

The giant pointed to a cottage and said, “I keep spirits distilled from morning sunlight in my cottage. Do not drink even a drop, for I will know and I will swallow you whole.”

Then he said, “If you trick me and allow my cedars to come to harm, then I will eat you slowly piece by piece.”

So the giant retired to rest and the girl was left to watch over the cedars in their forest.

A pair of woodsmen strode through the mountains. They wore matching red shirts, blue pants, raccoon-skin hats, and carried twin chainsaws. It was clear from their horns, tusks, tufted tails and massive noses that they were trolls.

“Halt! Who goes there?” asked Plain Jane.

“It is we, the troll woodsmen,” the pair replied. “We have traveled the black mountains and here we come to chop the cedar trees.”

“Surely you know that the cedars belong to Horror the Terrible? These trees are not for you to cut.”

“Indeed we do know. Horror is not here and we should like to be finished and gone before he returns.”

“Surely not! He has placed me in his stead. If he returns to find that I have failed in my duty, then he will eat me slowly piece by piece.”

“Better you than us, girl. We have traveled long and hard, and we will not be denied our wood.”

Plain Jane thought for a moment and said, “Before you do, would you like to drink some fine ale? Surely you are thirsty after such a long journey?”

“Thank you, girl. We should like that very much.”

The girl went into the cottage, gathered two bottles, and then returned to the two trolls. Each took a bottle of spirits and drank. Immediately they screamed, flailed, and became as grey and lifeless as stone.

“Silly trolls,” chided Plain Jane. “Everyone knows that you turn to stone in the sunlight. Perhaps forever, perhaps only until dusk, but it happens.”

Horror the Terrible returned and saw that all the trees were accounted for. He turned to the girl and said, “Thank you, Plain Jane. I will give your reward as promised, but first I must check my cottage.”

The giant entered the cottage and gave a great cry of anger. “My spirits! My spirits! Someone stole my spirits!”

“It was not I,” said Plain Jane. She pointed to the two trolls turned to stone and said, “It was these two trolls who drank your spirits. See the bottles in their hands? They came to chop your trees, but foolishly drank the sunlight you distilled. Forgive me, but I had to trick them into drinking as otherwise they would have left me for dead!”

“Wretched trolls!” cried the giant. He grabbed the two statues and shoveled them into his mouth, swallowing them whole and chewing them into gravel with his tooth-lined stomach.

Horror the Terrible turned to the girl and said, “You have not drunk a drop of my spirits, and though your chicanery wasted good bottles you still did your best to serve in my stead, so as promised I will not eat you. Give me time to prepare your reward.”

The giant went to his cottage and gathered the tools of a woodsmith. His right leg, Firedrake, chopped down a tree by sawing its base with his fiery breath. Horror worked on the great log, and fashioned it into the shape of a horse with a pair of eagle’s wings and a pair of antelope’s horns. His left leg, Coldstone, met the gaze of the wooden steed. Immediately the cedar statue came to life, flapping its wings and whinnying fiercely.

Horror the Terrible lifted Plain Jane and placed her upon the wooden steed. He said to her, “This steed is named Mahogany, and he will serve you faithfully.”

Mahogany said, “Thank you for guarding the tree I was carved from, Plain Jane. Now we must follow the road to the edge of the sea. There lives my friend the iron forest. The brothers Scold and Hate will help you in your quest.”

Plain Jane did as the steed said and came upon a forest of wrought iron spikes. There the girl was amazed to see rivers of molten metal and steeples of slag. Beyond were cliffs that fell sharply into the churning sea.

Suddenly, a pair of fearsome giants appeared. They bore the shape of massive wolves with snow white fur and frosty blue eyes and wisps of freezing steam rising from their nostrils. These were Scold and Hate, protectors of the iron forest.

“Halt! Who dares trespass on our mines?” asked the giants in booming voices.

“I dare not trespass, Scold and Hate. I am Plain Jane, and I have come to beg for help in my quest to rescue my little sisters,” she replied.

The brothers regarded her for a moment and replied, “We shall assist you if you first do a task for us. We have grown tired of guarding the mines and desire to retire for a time. If you watch over the veins of ore while we rest, then when we return we shall lend you aid. If you fail to secure the veins, then upon our return we shall cook you in a pot and grind your bones to make our bread.”

So the giants retired to rest and the girl was left to watch over the veins of ore.

A pair of miners strode through the mountains. They wore matching grey shirts, grey pants, yellow hardhats, and carried twin jackhammers. It was clear from their horns, tusks, tufted tails and massive noses that they were trolls.

“Halt! Who goes there?” asked Plain Jane.

“It is we, the troll miners,” the pair replied. “We have sailed the churning sea and here we come to mine the iron ore.”

“Surely you know that the ore belongs to Scold and Hate? These veins are not for you to mine.”

“Indeed we do know. Scold and Hate are not here and we should like to be finished and gone before they return.”

“Surely not! They have placed me in their stead. If they return to find that I have failed in my duty, then they will grind my bones to make their bread.”

“Better you than us, girl. We have traveled long and hard, and we will not be denied our iron.”

Plain Jane thought for a moment and said, “Before you do, would you like to drink from the stream? Surely you are thirsty after such a long journey?”

“Thank you, girl. We should like that very much.”

The trolls bent down at one of the molten streams and drank deeply of its metal waters. They drank so much that their bellies visibly bulged. After drinking their fill, they rose and said, “Thank you for offering the stream, girl. The water was so refreshing that now we desire to rest a while. Would you care to watch over our jackhammers while we do?”

“Of course I shall watch your jackhammers for you,” said Plain Jane.

The trolls placed their jackhammers at the girl’s feet and sat down next to a tree of wrought iron. They leaned back and soon were fast asleep. Unknown to them, the molten metal they drank cooled within their bodies and turned to solid blocks of iron.

The two trolls awoke sometime later and found themselves unable to move, for their stomachs were full of solid iron. They were left helpless when the dawn came and the morning sun peeked over the sea. Immediately they screamed, flailed, and became as grey and lifeless as stone.

“Silly trolls,” chided Plain Jane. “Everyone knows that when molten metal cools it hardens into solid metal. Even if you can drink it without being burned to death, it will still harden within your gullet.”

Scold and Hate returned and saw that all the iron was accounted for. They turned to the girl and said, “Thank you, Plain Jane. We will give your reward as promised, but what are these two iron-filled statues laying by the tree?”

“They are troll miners who came to mine your iron,” she answered. “They would leave me for dead, so I asked them to drink from the river. It cooled in their gullets and so they were too heavy to escape the sunrise.”

“Wretched trolls!” cried the brother wolves. They grabbed the troll statues in their jaws and cast them over the cliff. At the bottom the statues crashed upon jagged rocks and were dashed to pieces, their stolen iron falling out and melting back into the rivers from whence it came.

Scold and Hate turned to the girl and said, “Give us time to prepare your reward.” They reared back on their haunches and shed their pelts, revealing a pair of giants with blue skin, white hair and a single blue eye in each of their foreheads. With their furry capes flapping in the breeze, the giants entered a nearby cottage and returned holding the tools of blacksmiths. They took raw iron ore and refined it upon their anvils, then forged the ingots into a suit of armor, a sword and a shield.

The panoply was blacker than night and worked in baroque fashion. This the giants presented to Plain Jane. They said to her, “This panoply is named Dauntless, and he will serve you faithfully.”

The girl dressed in Dauntless and it said to her, “Thank you for guarding the iron I was forged from, Plain Jane. Now we must fly across the sea to the castle at the end of the world. There the three-headed dragon named Evil, Madness and Spite dwells with your sisters held captive.”

Plain Jane and Dauntless rode Mahogany until they reached the end of the world. There they saw the dark and haunted castle in which lived the dragon. They saw the three little sisters, Sunny, Luna and Stella, waving to them from the window of the tallest tower.

“Help us, dear sister!” they cried.

The girl and her helpers landed in the castle’s courtyard. She blew her whistle. Upon hearing the sound, the dragon appeared with his three heads hissing and belching steam.

“Halt! Who dares trespass on my castle?” said the dragon.

“It is I, Plain Jane,” said the eldest sister who was plain.

“Is it I, Dusky,” said the two-headed dog with the tail of a dragon.

“It is I, Mahogany,” said the wooden horse with wings and horns. 

“It is I, Dauntless,” said the panoply of armor, sword and shield.

“And we have come to slay you!” they said in unison.

So the girl and her companions fought the dragon. Dusky grabbed the head named Evil between one pair of jaws and gnawed it to death with the other. Mahogany stamped on the head named Madness and gored it to death with his horns. Dauntless bashed the head named Spite with his shield and severed it with his sword. Thus the dragon was slain and the three little sisters were freed.

Plain Jane, her three little sisters, and her three companions traveled the long journey back home. On the way they stopped at the homes of the two giants in wolf’s guise, the lion-faced giant, and the hundred-eyed giant, who were happy to offer them rest for the nights of their journey. After some days the party finally returned to the pumpkin patch. There they lived happily ever after.


End file.
